Ken Gordon Announces Run for U.S. Senate Seat; Supporters take a Powder

Former State Representative Charlie Murphy with Ken Gordon  Image (c) JMcCT, 2012
“If Ken only knew what I’m thinking now,” said former state rep Charlie Murphy

Submitted by State Representative Ken Gordon, for immediate release on April 1, 2013

In a somewhat surprising and unforeseen announcement form a freshman state representative, Kenneth I. Gordon of the 21st Middlesex District announced today he is mounting a run as a write-in candidate for the Democratic nomination for the open U.S. Senate seat vacated by Secretary of State John Kerry, joining two sitting congressmen in a crowded field.

“We have 30 days to get out the word so we can collect the signatures we need to win the primary,” said Gordon. “We won the last primary we entered in almost half that many days. I don’t know what we’ll do with that extra time!”.

Reminded that a state-wide election covers much more area than a race for state representative, Gordon appeared confused. “You mean Massachusetts does not end at Route 495?  Can somebody call Rep. Vega and find out how far it is to Holyoke.”

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Those who helped to engineer Gordon’s victory in the state representative race did not appear to share his enthusiasm.

Said seasoned political strategist Ron Cordes, “Oh, God, he said what?  Cathy, I told you we created a monster.  Just tell him we’re busy on town business.”

Former County Commissioner Tom Larkin pondered the concept for a fleeting moment. “Well, it’s not completely impossible. Actually, yeah, it’s impossible.  Ann, hang up the phone.”

Gordon’s reception in Burlington was not much different. Located at a Democratic town committee meeting, Joanne Fristaci said, “Tell Ken we have a great candidate for Senate.”

“Him!” asked a surprised Jack Kelly.

“No. Ed Markey. Maybe Steve Lynch.  What do you take me for?”

Political leaders in Boston appeared less than phased by the news.

Said Speaker Robert DeLeo. “I have to admit, I’m afraid I’ll be losing members to openings caused by this Senate race as members look to run for Congress, the Middlesex DA and Boston mayor.  Ken is not one of those members I’m worried about filling those seats.”

In the upper chamber, Senator Mike Barrett was overheard asking his colleague, Sen. Ken Donnelly if Gordon had been sampling the medical marijuana that was left in the member’s lounge.

Interrupted as he was leaving for a Costa Rican vacation, former Rep. Charles Murphy added: “Do me a favor.  Tell Ken I changed my phone number.  You see the picture a few lines up in this story. Notice my coat is on. I’m out of here.”

The only people who seemed supportive of Ken’s decision to run for the Senate seat were his aide Rob Peterson, seen eyeing a move to the desk two feet to his left and against the window, and his wife Breena, who said: “One thing I’ve learned is never to count Ken out. He’s no fool. Except here.  Here he’s an April Fool.”

Happy April Fool’s Day everyone, and we hope you enjoyed your Passover or Easter holidays, if you observed them, and your weekend in any case.

 

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