By Andrea Cleghorn
When Gloria Steinem went to Ireland last summer, it was a first ever visit for this woman who has spent all her adult life traveling.
Today, on the celebration of St. Patrick’s Day right in the middle of Women’s History Month, is an opportunity to take a look at the most the world’s most high-profile feminist, author of “My Life on the Road,” but it was not until this past year that she got to the small town of Bantry in (arguably) the greenest nation on the planet.
As the headline speaker at the West Cork Literary Festival, tickets to hear Steinem’s message sold out weeks ahead of the event. And though newly published copies of “My Life on the Road” were lined up on a table at the side of the room, she clearly did not come to hawk her book. She did arrive at a time when she could lend support to Repeal, a movement to change Ireland’s strict abortion law by repealing Amendment 8 to their Constitution. The conversation was led by Sasha De Buyl-Pisco from the Scottish Book Trust. The festival’s director, Eimear O’Herlihy, mentioned in her introduction that inviting Steinem was a what-the-heck, might-as-well-try-it moment and she was shocked and delighted when Steinem accepted.
Working without a prepared talk, Steinem took questions right out of the gate and encouraged members of the audience to make comments, ask questions and even tell pieces of their personal histories. There was a divergence of viewpoints, and most of those who spoke were clearly members of her camp. Her responses were was reasonable and respectful, even when the comments became emotional.
One disgruntled American in attendance was clearly not what the Irish would call “chuffed” at the format. “I came here to hear her, I don’t care what everyone else has to say.”
One of the few men in the audience, Stephen Johnson of the West Cork Times, said he and his wife [both Americans] had been living in the area for about a decade and the only thing anyone had wanted to talk to them in the past year was about Donald Trump’s candidacy for the then upcoming presidential race in the U.S.
After making remarks about Trump’s disparaging comments about women in general, calling them “bimbos,” for example, Steinem didn’t understand how he made it to leader of the Republican Party; she said, “I think he should be hospitalized, not elected.”
Steinem, who is famous for her “This is what 40 looks like,” response to her age at the time, was a founder of “Ms.” magazine at a time when the women’s rights movement was known as women’s liberation.
“I actually liked that term better,” she said at one point, referring to the importance of inclusion in women’s rights, “But we chose not to use it because it was harder for a man to be a woman’s liberationist, so we decided on feminism.”
As far as race distinctions, “On the web you see people talking about white feminism and black feminism if it doesn’t include everybody it’s not feminism.”
One person attending, who said she didn’t know much about Steinem said she had googled her. “Wow, you’re 82.” It was clearly a compliment.There was a lot of laughter in the room at that.
Another woman under 40 was surprised that Steinem is credited with coining the famous phrase, “a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”This 30-something only knew it from U2, Ireland’s most famous band, who years later appropriated it as a line in their song “Tryin’ to Throw Your Arms Around the World.”
Steinem spent time updating the audience on research on domestic violence. Research has shown that everyone needs to understand that an environment of violence against females is the biggest predictor — more than poverty, more than access to natural resources, more than religion, more than the degree of democracy – of violent behavior.
Violence against females, because it comes first, normalizes the idea that one group is born to dominate another, then it normalizes the domination by race, class, caste, all the other hierarchies, and dominance in general.
Steinem said patterns of behavior begin in the family of origin. Parents should raise their daughters more like their sons but raise their sons more like their daughters.
“Kids are often pushed into a mentality of masculinity and domination in the extreme — we have to understand if we don’t have a democratic family we are never going to have a democratic society, it goes from microcosm to macrocosm.”
“That early violence is a predictor, whether it is in streets to whether or not that country is willing to use military violence against another country..”
The questions and comments from the audience demonstrated a range of opinions, at least one of which was accusatory toward the speaker because she had no children herself. Some women talked of their own experiences with abortions, others expressed why they were opposed.
As emphatic as she was throughout, Steinem’s style was low-key. She talked about how scary it is to attempt change, how nervous everyone was before the March on Washington. She said they didn’t know if anyone would show up, would it help the cause, or maybe it would hurt it?
“So this is it, folks, small attempts are not small, they can be the seed. To changing everything.”
One question to Steinem was “How do you sustain this, how do you keep so calm?”
“I come from the Midwest in America, where we have to be on LSD to know when we’re angry,” she said, laughing.
“Seriously, I get to work in what I care about most, and love most every day, and I get to see you and know I’m not crazy. I know the system is crazy.”
Steinem said that one of the good things about getting old –“and there are lots of good things about being old”– is that there has been so much progress and huge change in her life.
“So I have faith. Look at where we started and look at where we are. That is what keeps me going, that’s what keeps all of us going.
“And, from the bottom of my heart I’m going to tell you this: Make sure you have in your life, once a week at least, people who care about the same things, who laugh at your jokes, get mad at the things you get mad at, because we are communal animals. If we are alone we come to feel isolated and crazy and wrong. We need rooms like this, we need what we used to call consciousness-raising groups — we now call them book clubs!”
She told the audience to make sure they had support in their lives, to do the important things they were afraid of. She talked about how fearful she was of public speaking initially. “It wasn’t until was in my mid-30s that I could make myself do it. Then I made sure I got on stage with someone else until I could do it alone. I have always been a writer and a dancer, but not a speaker!”
She encouraged them to trust their instincts. “If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck and you think it is a pig. It is a pig!”
Women’s rights are human rights. “It is all about how we are treated, how we are cared for , how we empathize with each other, and right now we need all five senses. As much as I love books, but you don’t create the same oxytocin as you do when you are together.”
In closing, responding to a comment about how to continue the lively serious dialogue, she said, “There is so much energy, so everything, so much heart in this room, Turn around to two or three people you don’t know, introduce yourself, say what you care about. You may leave here with a new friend, a new job, a new love affair, something that continues the spirit of what we talked about today.”
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