By The Bedford Scallion
After weeks of rain, drizzle, and cold, the Town has taken the unprecedented move to cancel Spring. Although it’s not clear who within the town has the authority to cancel a season, it was felt that action needed to be taken. “This spring has been a bust,” said an anonymous town official. “We’re throwing in the towel, a very damp one,” the source continued. Between canceled sporting events, soggy picnics, and the generally foul mood of everyone, (even the grass is getting tired of being watered) it was time to make a move.
Summer will begin, the third day the sun shines for more than 8 hours … consecutively. School children hearing the news got excited that their summer break may start early but were quickly disappointed to hear that the year will end when originally scheduled.
When reached for comment, an anonymous school official, trying to be supportive, said if it would make the kids happier, they could call it summer school.