Task Force Formed to Return Traffic to the Great Road

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In unsettling times, it’s human nature to want to return to a semblance of normal.  With that thought in mind, a new task force is being formed to see if we can bring back an element of shared suffering that all residents of Bedford can agree on — The Great Road traffic.

With stores, schools, restaurants, and more all closed, it’s just too easy to drive down The Great Road. “You can get from Bedford Farms to the Shell Station in 5 minutes … at rush hour … it’s crazy,”  says an unidentified driver who says he just did it because he was bored and had nothing better to do.

That common complaint, and sense of shared suffering, is the idea behind the “Make the Great Road, Not Great Again” task force. “It sounds crazy, but people miss the traffic,”  says Yuri Gunnablate, the task force chair.

The frustrations, the noise, the passive-aggressive moves, the occasional drama of missing the light, the random kind gesture, it’s what makes The Great Road an integral part of our daily lives. The task force’s mission is to bring the traffic back!

With fewer cars on the road, bringing back the traffic is going to require some creative thinking. Most of the proposals are being kept secret but there have been some leaks.  Here’s what some of the potential proposals might entail:

  • Adjusting the traffic lights to randomly stay red for 5 minutes.
  • Multiple survey crews crisscrossing the Great Road.
  • Fake water main breaks.
  • A feasibility study to see if moving The Great road 3 feet to the left is possible.
  • A survey asking whether putting the utilities back above ground makes sense.
  • Huge fake potholes, an optical illusion graphic of a 6-foot deep pothole.

These are just some of the ideas the task force is working on, admittedly all bad, but that is the point.

As we try to get back to normal, we all do what we can. Being stuck in traffic is something we can do together, all the while practicing appropriate social distancing.

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