Spring Officially Cancelled – Board Votes Unanimously to Start Summer Early

By The Bedford Scallion

By The Bedford ScallionAfter weeks of rain, drizzle, and cold, the Town has taken the unprecedented move to cancel Spring.  Although it’s not clear who within the town has the authority to cancel a season, it was felt that action needed to be taken.   “This spring has been a bust,” said an anonymous town official.  “We’re throwing in the towel, a very damp one,” the source continued.   Between canceled sporting events, soggy picnics, and the generally foul mood of everyone, (even the grass is getting tired of being watered) it was time to make a move.

Championship Celebrations Cause Concerns About Classroom Absences

By The Bedford Scallion

The Bedford Public schools are feeling the effect of yet another championship rally. Although everyone would agree sports victories are fun, there must be some kind of discussion as to what to do with all the celebrating students.

This is the second parade this year, and the 12th since the year 2001. With the Celtics and Bruins looking good, no one is sure this is the last one.

Renewed Interest in Friends’ Fitness Since Bears Arrived in Bedford

By The Bedford Scallion

With the recent slew of local bear sightings, people are learning how to be safe. Editor’s Note: While Callie snuggling with her bear pal is cute, it is NOT RECOMMENDED BEHAVIOR for humans and Bedford’s ursine visitors.

Google has reported over 5 million (+/- 4.9 million) searches on bear safety coming from zip code 01730. The articles explain various techniques, not making eye contact seems to be important. Good news for the engineers, and other introverts.

Recent Bear Sightings Have Pun Police Working Overtime

By The Bedford Scallion

What, until recently, was a pretty low key position within the police department has suddenly become unbearable. With all the recent sighting of bears in Bedford, the pun police have been barely hanging on. Speaking for the squad, Officer Lou Tennant, said, “As soon as the first bear reports came in, the phone started ringing.”

Bedford Farms Falling Behind in Ice Cream Finals – Russians to Blame?

By The Bedford Scallion

How could the best Ice Cream in the state be losing in a contest for the best ice cream? Think of it, Bedford Farms vs Peaceful Meadows?

There really has to be an explanation why BF is behind. A quick Google search leads to a long list of cemeteries with the name, Peaceful Meadows.

There is no proof that cemetery residents are voting, but there are rumors.

Town Mulls Putting Dog Park on Permanent Agenda

By The Bedford Scallion

In an attempt to keep residents engaged in town government, a suggestion was floated to make the Dog Park discussions a permanent feature of town meeting.

In the good old days, if you wanted to fill an auditorium you needed to build a school, maybe buy an aircraft carrier. All complicated subjects, but unlike the Cat Park, the Dog Park has unleashed passions on both sides that really turn out the crowds.

Ghost Town

By The Bedford Scallion

A strange phenomenon was experienced in the picturesque town of Bedford, MA, just miles northwest of Boston. The town, home of some 13,000 residents appears almost abandoned these days. Traffic, normally bumper-to-bumper from 4 PM to at least 6 PM is practically non-existent. The lunch hour rush is a dribble. Parking lots are empty and stores appear bereft of customers.

Strangely, local observers noted that the local coffee-and-donut shop was as busy as usual.

Cat Park Task Force Plagued by Apathy

By The Bedford Scallion

Missed in all the excitement and energy behind the Bedford Dog Park effort, another committee continues on with little success.

The Cat Park Task Force was formed years ago in an effort to find a safe and, more importantly, a different place to nap.

Plans to Celebrate the Battle of Sweeney Ridge Battle Move Forward

By The Bedford Scallion

The faux historic celebration committee is moving forward with plans to celebrate the Battle of Sweeney Ridge next April.

The committee was originally formed to come up with a plan to take advantage of Bedford’s historic geographic location. Being sandwiched between Lexington and Concord both residents and businesses alike always have felt gypped that there was no real battle here. For years residents have lamented the fact that there were no shots fired. “We see Lexington and Concord in all the history books, they have parades, reenactments, they have it all,” says Maria, the commission’s chair. “If only someone had the foresight to start a battle in Bedford, we too could grab some of those tourist dollars.”

Pin It on Pinterest